No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize