Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
