Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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