i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
