my shit smells like andre
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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