He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
