i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
