and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
