my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
