im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
