Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
