She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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