i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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