there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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