that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I love you. Go after that dick
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
