Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
