At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We are two peas in an std pod
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
