didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
