this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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