Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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