i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So here I am, sexting at work.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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