Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
