before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize