Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
