My hair reeks of homosexuality.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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