She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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