tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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