if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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