it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
