It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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