After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
