Dual....:-)
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Say something about gay babies.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
