Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
