I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
