I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
