I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ladies don't puke and tell
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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