it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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