I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
