Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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