The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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