Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
