i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
