You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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