Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
