I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
