Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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