You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
