just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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