she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
