You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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