Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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