But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
