just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My nipple is on Facebook.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
