i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize