Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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