I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
