I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize