So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
