are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
