I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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