There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
