I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
