He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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