He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
