did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
