I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
